12+ Months

• Begin envisioning your son's Bar Mitzvah -- formal hotel or synagogue? Casual at-home get-together? Need help getting started? We got you covered.
  
• Decide on a budget.
  
• Pick your preferences for a Bar Mitzvah date and time, and finalize after okaying with important guests, location, or officiant. Read on for more planning tips and tricks.
  
• Begin interviewing party planners (if you'll have one) and/or start asking family and friends for local Bar Mitzvah vendor recommendations.
  

10 to 12 Months

• Sign your son up for Bar Mitzvah classes at your synagogue.
  
• Start interviewing caterers.
  
• Scout out Bar Mitzvah sites.
  
• Start looking for a rabbi who suits your family's style and spirit, if you don't have one already.
  
• Book your synagogue and/or Bar Mitzvah site as soon as you see something you love that's available on your date.
  
• Get organized! Start a notebook/file folder to house all your Bar Mitzvah-planning paperwork in one place.
  
• Begin working on a preliminary Bar Mitzvah guest list and decide on your Bar Mitzvah's approximate size.
  
• Hire a party planner (if you're having one) and sign a contract.
  
• Choose a color scheme or your Bar Mitzvah's style, if you so desire, taking into account the decor of the rooms/areas you have reserved for your ceremony and reception.
  
• Decide on a caterer. Hash out a rough price per head and begin working on a menu.
  
• Brush up on Bar Mitzvah traditions you might want to incorporate into your ceremony or party.
  
• Finalize the guest list.
  
• Sign your caterer contract and send in a deposit.
  
• Start auditioning Bar Mitzvah bands or DJs or both.
  
• Set up appointments with various florists to discuss options.
  
• Interview and get price lists from several photographers and videographers.
  
• Book reception band or DJ, sign the contract, and send a deposit.
  

6 to 8 Months

• Begin looking for a baker to make your Bar Mitzvah cake. Your caterer is the best source for leads.
  
• Reserve photographer and/or videographer, decide on a package, sign contract, and send deposit.
  
• Choose your florist and send a deposit to reserve their services.
  
• If you are ordering a dress (especially one that'll require tailoring), start shopping now. Order as much in advance as possible to leave time for last-minute alterations.
  
• Set aside blocks of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.
  
• Book a baker, choose your Bar Mitzvah cake design, and send a deposit.
  
• Finalize menu and service details with caterer.
  
• Order your Bar Mitzvah invitations and announcements (don't forget plenty of extra envelopes).
  

4 to 6 Months

• Decide on a floral scheme, choose flowers, and negotiate prices with florist. Be sure to sign a contract outlining what you agreed upon.
  
• Start thinking about ways to decorate, if you haven't already.
  
• Reserve tables, chairs, and/or other rental equipment you'll need (unless caterer or site is taking care of it).
  
• Compile packages for out-of-town guests with hotel reservation and city information, and mail them out.
  

3 Months Before

• Make or buy favors. Allow extra time for custom-made favors (i.e., chocolates in a preprinted box).
  
• Pick up your invitations.
  
• Start addressing invitations or drop them off with the calligrapher (you'll need to send them out at the two-month mark).
  
• Arrange Bar Mitzvah-day transportation for you, your family, and guests (as needed).
  
• Send out invitations (be sure to add extra postage for overseas guests).
  

2 Months Before

• Confirm reservations for out-of-town guests.
  
• Arrange parking for the Bar Mitzvah, if needed.
  
• Order liquor, wine and/or champagne if they're not included in the catering contract.
  
• Arrange for a special entertainment, like dancers.
  
• Buy a guest book (and nice pen).
  

1 Month Before

• Work on a list of "must-play" (and "must-not play") songs for your DJ or band.
  
• If you've ordered a dress, pick it up from the store and have your final fittings done.
  
• Have a follow-up meeting or phone call with rabbi to go over Bar Mitzvah timing and details.
  
• Sit for your family portrait, if you decide to get one.
  
• Get a head start on those thank-you notes (it will feel great to get a batch out before the Bar Mitzvah).
  

2 Weeks Before

• Give final head count to the caterer. Confirm set-up instructions and menu items.
  
• Call location manager and make sure your vendors all have access to the site when they need it.
  
• Confirm head count, delivery time, and location with the baker.
  
• Call guests who haven't RSVP'd for the Bar Mitzvah. It's okay to do this, you need a final head count!
  
• Start putting together the seating plan if you're having a seated meal.
  
• Finalize seating chart. Buy materials for and make place cards (give typed names to the calligrapher if you're using one).
  
• Confirm delivery locations, times, and final arrangement count with florist.
  
• Prepare your toasts or thanks to friends and family.
  
• Give seating chart to caterer, location manager, or host.
  
• Fax transportation providers a schedule and addresses for pickups on the Bar Mitzvah day.
  
• Confirm all final payment amounts with your vendors.
  
• Confirm location, date, and time with videographer.
  
• Confirm location, date, and time with photographer; create your "must-take" photo list.
  

The Day Before

• Get some much-needed sleep -- if you can!
  
• Drop off favors, guest book, and pen at the Bar Mitzvah site.
  

The Day of

• Confirm with people who you expect to give/lead toasts at the Bar Mitzvah.
  
• Take a moment to tell your son how much you love him.
  
• Relax, smile, and enjoy the day!
  

After the Bar Mitzvah

• Upload your digital photographs onto a photo-sharing website. These will probably be the first photos available since professional proofs can take weeks.
  
• Make sure all vendor bills have been paid in full.
  
• Find out when you can expect your edited Bar Mitzvah video (if you used a videographer).
  
• Within two months of your Bar Mitzvah, set aside some evenings to help your son write that stack of thank-you notes.